Monday, October 15, 2007

So, what happens next?

Okay, I suck. I ran my half, rocked my personal goal for it, and then what? Fizzled out like a big pansy. What the fuck is wrong with me? I've been running casually for years; it's the thing I love. It's all about me. I'm a runner. Blah blah blah. Yet, as soon as make it goal-oriented, it becomes another chore. All of a sudden it switches from being my reward to myself to the other side. It gets added to the "to do" list. Not good.

Since the half, I have run an average once a week. That's bloody stupid of me. Nothing has changed. My kids have gone back to school, but that should make it easier. It gets darker earlier, and I hate running in the dark, but Joe gets home with plenty of daylight remaining. Excuses. That's what i'm dishing out.

So now i ask myself, how do I solve the problem at hand? How do I shake this lazy nonsense? How do i not keep track of what my mileage is, and what my time was, and just get back to doing it because i love it, because it feels really fucking great? Because right now i feel lost, like now that the half is over, and i did it, what's the next move? The obvious answer is move on to the full. But the full is a year away. Do I plan to casually run once a week until my calender tells me it's time to consult Hal Higdon's training program and start logging the proper mileage? That sucks the fun right out of it, doesn't it?

Besides, if i don't get back to the habits that made me want to do the half, i'll never be able to get my shit together to prepare for a full. The mental part is currently missing. Hopefully not for long, though. I did a 5K this weekend. I love 5Ks. Not so much thinking, not so much preparation, just get out and do it, and try to do it a little faster than last time. My last 5K was with my sister right in the middle of my training, and I remember feeling kind of pissed that i didn't run it to my full potential because i wanted to stay with her. What??? Am i a total fucking asshole? The whole point was to run it together. Why the fuck do i care that i could have done it a minute faster? It's a fucking minute.

Hold on...again, way too much thinking. It's a fucking fun run. I think I can stop beating myself up over it now.

So, back to this weekend's 5K. Totally great race. I met some great people beforehand from the running thread, and I ran it with a friend who didn't want to run it side by side, and like my sister, told me to just take off and not look back (which this time, I did). I felt great the whole race: no pain, no mental crap, no ipod, no thoughts, just total empty-headed selfish running bliss. My favorite part was the final sprint, because as i took off, some chick took off from behind me and sprinted with me all the way to the finish. I didn't let her pass me, but I didn't pass her either. Good rush!! The bad competitive runner in me kind of wishes I had checked her bib to compare result times, but it's better not to know. It's bad enough i'm turning into a crazy running bitch. No need to add stalker to the list.

And not only did I break 30 min, I broke 29!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

The Half

Today was the half. It was awesome.

We left the house in the dark thinking we had PLENTY of time 2 hours before the start. Traffic and parking were so lousy I got there with only 15 minutes to spare. No worries, though. I strapped on my water belt (filled with half water/half Propel--I hate race gatorade), sucked down a GU, herded in, drifted with the crowd up to the start, stomped on the chip sensor timing thingy, and was off.

I had a great start, but accidently downed my first GU at 2.5 instead of 3.5 as planned. Doh. The whole beginning of the race was easy breezy. I felt really strong. Around mile 5, my knee started getting weird. Made a mental deal with myself that if I kept running now, I could walk at mile 7 when I had the next GU. Made it to 6.5, which seemed like a fair compromise, and walked for a half a mile. Not gonna lie, in hindsight I'm disappointed in myself to have slowed down. I felt like I needed it at the time, (and maybe I did) but now that it's over, I think it was my head fucking with me. I had been staying aware of two girls with green shirts and a guy with a Mystic Pizza T, and a couple others from the beginning, and that was the last I saw all of them. I needed new focus and couldn't really find focus on anyone around me now. After walking, something was mentally out of whack. No longer feeling in the zone. I should never have given myself the option to walk, now it's all I want to do. Thank God, a water table. Dumped a cup of water down my back to try to shake it off.

My head was still a little fucked, but now at least my physical energy had returned. No more walking. I am a runner, dammit. My next mental deal was to make it to the Salonpas table between miles 9-10. If I made it there, I could stop for a moment to get my knees sprayed with that shit to see if it worked. Interestingly, it did. It worked really well, actually. My knee didn't bother me for the rest of the race. Once the annoying nagging knee pain was gone, my brain finally bounced back, too. I was locked in again.

Last mental deal: after finishing mile 10, I could take very short (like 10 seconds) walks at each mile marker until the end. (What is with all this fucking walking? I hate walking.) Right around the mile 10 marker, I heard someone calling me, and saw Amy from the Running Thread (who I have never met) cheering with a "Go Noelle Go" sign. all my 30-some years, I have NEVER had a sign made for me for anything. I know I sound like I'm twelve--I don't care. I fucking loved it. It was unbelievably motivating, and my deal with myself was no longer needed.

The finish was very cool. I had already picked up my pace since mile 10, so i was going pretty smooth and even. As soon as I could see the white arch of the finish line, I focused everything on my dead legs, dug in and crossed with 2:12 and some change on the clock. My goal was to finish under 2:15. YEAH BABY!!!!

I didn't feel as woozy as I did after the 10-miler I did in June. I felt kind of hurl-ish after pounding a glass of nasty ass yellow race gatorade, but other than that it was completely exhilarating. Joe met me at the finish, and that was really awesome. He was so excited for me, and so proud. He kept saying my time over and over, and how he couldn't believe how well I did, and for once it didn't feel like it was all about me. In a good way. :)

My official chip-time for my first Half Marathon -- 2:07:44.

Under a 10 minute mile pace. I rule.

Half Marathon Eve

Well, it's all over. I'll get to the race in just a minute. First, there was the night before.

Joe and I had reservations at Carmine's, but decided at the last minute to go to Tuscany instead (aka: didn't want to drive downtown). It was a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong. As far as Italian restaurants go, Tuscany is top shelf. My favorite fried calamari...the roasted garlic shmushed into the dipping oil...their Cipriani sauce (which is never as good in the jar, natch)...mmmm....however, my taste buds were horny for Carmine's and I did not deliver. So even though I had a great, indulgent meal, I didn't feel satisfied. I hate that.

On the bright side, since we were closer to home, we got back earlier, and I was able to get to bed at a reasonable hour. I needed to be up at 4:30 am, and I was super-paranoid I'd sleep through the alarm if I was overtired.

Of course, since I was so nervous, I must have woken up in the night 5 times to check the clock. I finally woke up on my own at 4 and didn't bother going back to bed at that point. Not before I had one crazy-ass dream about the half, though.

In my dream, I was running the race and it was being held indoors. The ground was covered with that green plastic grass carpet that people use in their screened-in porches. The mile markers and finish line were written in white on the ground. The rule was you had 3 hours to complete the race, and if you didn't, you didn't get a finishing time and therefore basically ran it for nothing. Of course, in the dream I was down to the final seconds of the 3 hours, and as I looked at the ground, there were 2 different finish lines. There were people all around counting down like fucking New Years Eve, and as they screamed "3,2,1" I crossed the first finish and stopped. Then the chef from Dinner Impossible came up to me and said I crossed the wrong finish line and my race was now invalid. I started screaming at him that he ruined my race and woke up.

I definitely watch too much Food Network.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Last run

So, my master plan for race week did not come about exactly as i wanted. I was already off a day, and then Wednesday I unfortunately had to attend a wake, and that eliminated my run for that day. I ran 3.7 Thursday, totally pain-free, and i'm going to walk 2.5 Friday and do a little yoga to loosen up my legs. Then I'm going to take Saturday off, and hopefully be ready for Sunday. Not much running this week, I hope all the rest-time doesn't do more harm than good.

Tomorrow I have to venture into the city WITH my children to pick up my race packet. Well, that just sucks some big ass. I usually have a good handful of sitter options, but they all fell through for tomorrow. I'm not throwing two little kids and a stroller on the Metra, so that leaves driving (which I hate). Driving results in the required "paying for parking" (which I hate more). And i guarantee my kids are going to NOT like being at a boring, crowded race expo, and will let me know, repeatedly, for the entire trip.

I need to start organizing my steady stream of bribery to get us through the process. Thank God i just bought Oreos.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

My longest to date

Yesterday I ran 11 miles. That's the longest I've ever run. I didn't die. I think that's a good sign.

IT'S RACE WEEK!!! Here we go. I've been training all summer, and I feel very prepared, but I can't deny the butterflies. During yesterday's run, I felt good in my last mile, but I couldn't help but think: will I be able to do 2 more after this? Oh, and "good" is of course open to interpretation. By saying I felt "good" I really meant my knee was achy and my legs felt like lead weights, but I could have continued. I didn't HAVE to stop when it was over. I welcomed the end, but didn't collapse. Miles 6-8 were the toughest. I'll have to tell Joe to hang out where i can see him around the mile 8 marker. I may need the mental boost of seeing him.

Since I did Sunday's run on Monday, here's my plan for this week:
Wed--4 mi
Fri-- very slow, easy 2 mi (?)
Sat--DOR + a trough of pasta at Carmine's...mmmm
Sun--kick some ass!

According to Uncle Hal, I'm supposed to take Friday off too, but I don't think I will. The weeks I've had one day between runs, I've done better on all of them. This week I had a lot of rest, thanks to Labor day festivities fucking with my schedule, and I think my long run suffered. My time was fine, but I wasn't feeling as strong, and my concentration was scattered. Based on that, I'm going to plan a Friday run, but if I'm really not feeling it that day, I'll DOR.

Time is not really my biggest concern for the race. Since it's my first, I have no basis for comparison. I just want my first half under my belt.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Avoiding the hills

Well, last night's 5 miler was funny. I took all this time on plotting a route that would avoid a ginormous hill on my usual 5 miler, and ended up with not only the same hill on a different street, but about a block and a half of visibly rolling hills right after it. Good grief. My knees are a little sore today, but i feel otherwise good. Nothing that can't be fixed with Motrin & ice packs. Then again, what can't? Heh.

I also wrestled with the little voice again. The first mile and a half I had to talk myself out of quitting. It was beautiful out, and i felt fine, I just wasn't in the mood. But I made myself continue, and once I hit mile 2, all was right with the world again.

My Sunday run is my last longie before the Half. It's next Sunday--yikes! Naw, i'm psyched for it. Bring in on.

(Yeah, watch me blow a knee or something)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Dead legs

Holy hell. My run last night was rough. My long run on Sunday was uneventful, and I felt great afterwards, but good God, did I pay the price Monday and Tuesday. Sunday, i barely ate a thing after my 10, and wasn't really hungry; just thirsty. (That makes me want to quote Forrest Gump) Monday and yesterday I couldn't stop eating. I was craving pasta like you wouldn't believe. So yesterday I gave in and ate a bowl of spaghetti at around 4:30. It helped. I didn't eat anything after that, though. I know I needed some protein, but my weight loss has been so slow since i started training, i didn't want any more calories.

I set out for yesterday's 5 mile run around 7pm. I couldn't seem to get out of the house. My daughters have decided there is nothing worse in their lives than my departure for a run. There was clinging. There were tears. There was howling and relentless sobbing. For the love of Christ, I'll be right fucking back. Does anyone need an explanation for why I run? Exhibit A.

So, the night had cooled off a bit, which was great, but it was still humid. My legs felt like they each had a 5lb weight strapped to them. I thought about taking a shortcut twice, but fought the urge. I also considered lopping off a half mile at the end, but ignored those thoughts as well.

All in all, I was pretty proud of my run last night. It's great to have an awesome, smooth run. I live for those. But on the flipside, maybe it's the crappy runs that are really a symbol of your achievement. I had several opportunities to make it easier on myself, but chose to fight through it and reach the goal I had laid out for myself that evening. I'm awesome.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Sunday's 10 miles

Yesterday was 10 miles, which is the longest I've ever run to date. I ran a 10 mile race in June and finished in 1:36:44. Yesterday's 10 took me almost 2 hours! That was kind of disappointing, but I did eat a giant steak dinner the night before, and had much wine, so maybe that made me sluggish. I know race time is always better than training time, but 25 minutes is a big window.

I felt good while I was running, and took a few walk breaks so I wouldn't burn out my legs. I'm terrified of injury right now since the Half is less than 2 weeks away, so I know I'm not pushing myself as much as I usually do. My legs were tired afterwards, but not sore. The knees were okay, too. I'm really feeling strong for this.

I need to take the time this week to map out a plan for the race weekend. There's no race day pick up, so I have to haul my suburban self into the big ol' city twice. Blech. It's against my religion to pay that much for parking once, let alone twice. Maybe I'll take the train like a big girl. The day of the race, I don't even know exactly where I'm going, or where I need to park, or anything. I'm considering just staying in the city for the night, and I can pick up the packet the day before on the way to the hotel. But I'm afraid I won't sleep as well in a strange bed. Or maybe I'll miss my wakeup call. Aaaargh. I have such issues.

I'm really excited, but the little details are messing with my head.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Morning run

I am not usually a morning runner, I prefer to run in the early evening. But, we had all kinds of crazy-ass weather blow through Thursday night, which cancelled my scheduled run. I had to either run it yesterday (Friday) or skip it. The Half is 2 weeks away, so i don't want to skip. Joe's birthday was yesterday, and I had invited people over for dinner, so an evening run was not in the cards. Friday morning it is. I woke up at the crack, and headed out a bit after 6. It wasn't so bad. Joe needed to be gone at 6:50, so I knew I couldn't do the whole 5 in that time, but I came pretty close; I did 4.5. I was really surprised how many people were out that early. I was also surprised that I could run that far on half a banana.

Unfortunately, I strolled in at 6:51, and Joe's head was exploding that I was running him late. If I could drag my ass out by 5:45, I could do a morning run again. I don't see it happening, though. That is just unreasonably early.

I love the changing weather. I can't wait for fall. I've had enough summer. Fall running is both good and bad. I love the weather, of course, but the short days make getting out a challenge. It'll be getting dark right around the time I usually go, and I don't like running in the dark. It's scary, and my eyes play tricks on me. I pick up all kinds of little things in my peripheral vision, and it makes me too jumpy. I'm also quite sure that white mailbox up ahead is the large white jacket of a homocidal stalker. (Because creepy killers tend to wear obvious, brightly colored outerwear, right?) But in order to run in the daylight, I have to take the girls in the jogger, which I don't really mind, but I can't go for as long. After a half an hour they get bored and start firing questions at me. 4 miles of hills are NOT a good time for Q & A, and I get all cranky at them. That sucks for everyone.

Tomorrow is my longie--10 miles this week. I seriously cannot believe i only have two weeks left. I kind of don't know what to do when I'm done training. I'm not sure how to go back to regular running. I guess I'll worry about it in two weeks.

Monday, August 20, 2007

9 miles

Yesterday (Sunday) was longie day. I woke up and it was pouring. I waited a bit and it stopped, hooray! So I got myself all dressed, took a handful of Motrin, filled all the little bottles on my belt with ice, Propel, and water, and prepared to leave for my 9 miles. I open the door and it's pouring again. Fuck. So I moped around the house for a couple hours, recharged my ipod, added a new playlist, and waited for it to stop.

Finally, I decided to give up and do it on Monday instead. Then the lightbulb went off. Um, perhaps it rains on September 9th? Am I going to skip the Half I've been training for all summer because it's raining?

Of course not, so I strapped my shoes back on, and headed out into the rain. I shit you not, not five minutes in, the rain stopped. Not a drop for the entire rest of the run. So weird. It was perfect out; cool and overcast. I had a great run: finished strong, and didn't suck wind the entire time. I am so ready. Three weeks to go.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Signs of progress

My run last night was great again. I think I'm in the zone right now. My left leg is a little sore, but not unbearable. I'll ice it in a bit. I did 5 miles to make up for cutting Wednesday's run short. I never know the time of my runs since I lost my pedometer and don't have a watch for running. At the end of my run I walk a block up a steep hill for my cooldown, and then stretch a bit outside before coming in and checking the time, so I know it's way inaccurate. Last night's five plus my cooldown walk and a little stretching were all done in about 45 minutes.

I've spent the last few days trying to figure out how to get a picture of myself onto this blog. I have no direct connection from my camera to my laptop because the cord was stolen when our house was robbed a couple years ago. (I know I can buy a new one, it's just not one of those things you think of while you're out shopping) I have a mac, but no mac email, so I can't send it from iphoto. I am completely computertarded, and have no idea what my other options are.

There's a reason i bring this up. I went to google myself, to see if there was a race photo of me somewhere that I could use, and I found something interesting. I always refer the 2000 Turkey Trot as my first 5K . But I was just reminded that THAT 5k was actually my second. In 1999, right after i found out I was pregnant, I did the Cincinnati race for the cure. At the time, I had never used a computer, so i never knew my results. Or cared, for that matter-it was totally for fun. I lived there for a year and a half, and a friend was visiting me, and we decided to do it. My time was 1:01:03. For a 5k. That's a 19:42 minute mile.

I've come a long way, baby.

(But no, I still haven't figured out how to get a fucking picture on here.)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Wednesday's run.

I've been bad this week. I blew off yoga on Monday to do someone's hair for a party. But at least I picked up a couple extra people and booked a gig. Yay $$$! I'm working with a new makeup artist, and she's awesome. She advertises, though, which means i've gotten a bit busier than my retired self is used to working these days. It's fun work though, so I shouldn't complain.

Anyhow, i also blew off Tuesday's run for no good reason (who am I kidding--a nice bottle of wine is an excellent reason) so up until last night i had zero activity logged for the week.

Soccer practice got moved to another field, and that worked out well. The new field has a nice 3/4 mile path around it. So i planned to run it 6x to get in 4.5 during the practice. I got around 5x, and all of a sudden the lightening siren started blaring. I got all freaked out and ran over to the kids, and cut the run short. There was no lightening in my area, barely any rain, and I totally could have done the last one. I kicked myself a bit afterwards for quitting.

I'm going to do 5 on Friday to make up for it, then I have 9 on Sunday. I've got to get more of those magical little gel things. They are truly gag-worthy, but I've got to say, they work.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Sunday's long run

Sunday should have been a great day. Should.

9am is a great time for a regular run, but I think I'm going to have to bust my chops to get out earlier for future longies. It was already getting pretty hot around 10am, and I had a couple miles left to go. Still, my 8 miles were awesome. I filled 2 bottles on the beloved fuel belt with Propel, and 2 with water, packed a gel, and hit the road. I cruised the whole way. Around mile 6 I felt it in my knees a little. (Next time I'll take 3 Motrin instead of 2) They are fine today. No worries.

So I got home, feeling all glorious and sweaty and awesome, and find out I have a houseful of people coming over in two and a half hours.

Come. On.

Then my mother calls me and says she has decided to:
1) Drive 12 hours to Atlanta...
2) alone...
3) without a cell phone...
4) now.

Come. ON.

Joe got on the computer to find her a flight since my head was exploding at the prospect of her wildly unsafe impromptu road trip. He found one, but not without starting a huge fight with me somewhere between "what time does she want to fly out" and "window or aisle".

Plus, we now have only an hour and a half until company arrives. And I still have not yet showered, because this all happened AS SOON AS I WALKED IN THE DOOR.

So my awesome running high that should have carried me through the day was erased an hour later. Ah well. It was great while it lasted.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Woo Jenksie!

Viv was right about the brightside, cuz i had a GREAT run today! :) Bummer that my Elvis-night plans got cancelled, but I'll survive.

Same route as my last one. It's an awesome route. It may be my permanent 4-miler. Very challenging hills at the right times. Anyhow, today was totally one of those runs that makes you understand why you run. 4:30pm, 85, sunny, breezy, awesome. Took off feeling great, then the weird left calf immediately started getting pinchy. But I said "fuck you, weird left leg pain", ignored it, and it went away. Smooth ride the rest of the way.

Seriously, it was the best run I've had in a couple weeks. I felt like I was flying on the downhills.

And for the icing, the Sox won. Bobby Jenks tied the AL consecutive out record. (He's my guy. I have his autograph on my visor.) It would have been great to be at the game, but oh well. Guess I'll forgive my too-busy babysitters. Who am I kidding? They know I'm at their mercy. LOL

Thursday, August 9, 2007

New toys.

Tuesday's run was great! Totally needed it. I took a new route. It was very hilly, but the road itself was very flat; no sloping down on the sides. Good deal. I went out and bought some new running necessities yesterday. I finally got some body glide for my thighs and i got a hydration belt. Even 4mi in this heat, i'm dying for some h2o about 2mi in. No way I could survive 8mi on Sunday, and I hate carrying a water bottle. It's the burbs, and people are so paranoid about litter on their property, the bottles would get tossed in 5min flat if i stashed them en route.

The belt I got is good, and will serve it's purpose. It holds more than the one I planned to buy, but better to have more than i need than not enough, right? It's so not hawt, heh. The bad news is the salesperson at the store told me I should buy a large instead of the medium that I was holding, since they run small and SHE herself "is 100lbs and takes a medium". Skinny bitch. The damn thing is too loose and now I've got to drag my kids back to exchange it for the medium I was going to buy in the first place. Hmmm. Imagine that. My fat ass wearing the same size as her 100lbs. Grrrrr. What a waste of time. Why do i listen to others, when I so clearly know EVERYTHING?

Tonight we're celebrating my sister's birthday (yay cake) and tomorrow we're going to Elvis night at the Sox game (yay beer). I don't know when I'm going to get in my run, but with all the good eats I need to try. If i can unload my son on someone, I can take the girls out in the jogger. There's no way he can follow us on his bike, it's way too hot. The poor kid would have a stroke. Maybe I'll just call a sitter to sit here while i go. That's probably the best plan. It's too hot to be pushing that thing for 4 miles, anyhow. It kills me a little to have to pay someone else so I can go running, but whattaya gonna do?

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Gypsies stop here.

I swear to God, if a big yellow bus stopped in front of my house today, I'd put my kids on it regardless of its destination.

I am counting the seconds until Joe gets home so I can strap on the shoes and head out for a run. He may not even make it in the door. I may be halfway down the block as soon as I hear the garage door.

My recently purchased shoes are broken in and awesome. I had my doubts since the model changed a bit, and so did my size as a result. At first, I thought they felt a little off, but it's now been a month and they are perfect. I also changed the lacing, which was a big help. My heel was slipping, which wasn't a problem in regular width shoes, but since my wide-ass Flintstone feet required a wide size this time around, I had some issues in the heels. All better. I'm doing four tonight, maybe a little over. It's hotter than hell outside, though.

Since my hellion children can't follow directions, the baby is awake after a very short nap. If they are all alive at the end of today, I will consider it a victory in parenting.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Sunday's run

Yesterday's run was kinda rough. It rained all morning, and when I headed out at 11am it seemed nice and breezy and sunny. My plan was to do 7 miles, and about halfway through all that "breezy" part had disappeared. I was now just fucking hot. I did it, but had to walk a couple of times because it was so hot & humid i was having trouble with my breathing. Clear reminder why I run in the morning or evening. 11-12 is not the time for a run. Dumbass.

Still, it fit in perfectly with my weekend. Did a wedding on Saturday, and the bride's family was fucking crazy disorganized. They shafted me on the pricing and kept me there for 6 fucking hours. I was looking forward to my run to blow off steam, and steam is definitely an appropriate word for what was seeping out of me.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I'm a runner.

Okay, I admit it. I'm a sheep. A blog is totally out of character for me, as i would never in a million years publicly share this much about myself all in one spot, since I'm completely paranoid and watched too many Oprah episodes on the dangers of online goings-on. However, i post with a bunch of awesome (yes, I loved the 80's) runners on the WW message boards, and blogging is the trend, so i hopped on. I'm neither witty nor eloquent, and not at all creative with the written word. But, i love to talk about myself, so there it is. If you're interested, great! If not, beat it. This will be the other thing that's all about me.

Running background: 7 years ago I never ran a step in my life, and would put my new baby in the car to drive six blocks to a friend's house. However, pregnancy made me fat, so i wanted to do something to make myself less fat. (Okay...bacon sammies during said pregnancy made me fat. Whatever. Details.) Anyway, my adorable firstborn wasn't a big fan of health club daycare. (Alright, fine...I was a psycho-newmom and I thought they were incapable of caring for my precious child for a whole 45 minutes. Cripes. I see why my mother always said never to put anything in writing--you have to be so bloody honest) So, I got myself a jogging stroller for walks. The walks got a little faster. Then there was some jogging added here & there. Next thing i know it's Thanksgiving and I'm at the start of my first 5K. There was no going back. I was an addict.

I am a runner. There. I've said it. Among the daily, weekly, and monthly routines i follow as a career-less wife and mommy, the one thing I have that is all about me is running. As much as i sometimes hate dragging myself out the door, and as lousy as that first mile can sometimes be, nothing compares to the feeling that comes with it. Even whilst pushing 80+ lbs of jogging stroller+daughters, there a sense of release from everything else. Six blocks? Please. Give me six miles. No car required.

This summer i decided to train for my first half marathon. It's five weeks away, and i can't wait. A couple months ago I ran in a 10m. I can't believe I had doubts as to whether I'd finish it. Of course I finished it. I'm a runner. Someday, I'll call myself a distance runner. I don't completely feel it yet, but I know it's in there.

Next year, I'll run my first full marathon. I know I'm totally unprepared for what that means. There's a huge gap between saying you're going to run a marathon someday, and tying on your shoes, herding up to the start line, and crossing the finish 26.2 miles later. The WW running Lovelies are a huge inspiration to me, and when they say "if i can do it, so can you" I believe them. Because I'm a runner.